March 10, 2016
Introductory Rinse
All right, friends, with the volume of VR porns flowing these days, I’m going to try something new. Actually, never mind…
Let’s just do this thing…
This solo gal, in-the-shower VR was released yesterday by the good pervs at Virtual Real Porn.
It’s called Water Vapor, and I hope no VR cameras were injured in the filming of this movie, man!
I mean… I always thought water was bad for electronic devices!
Official Movie Synopsis:
Let’s see how the VRP boys describe their latest effort (lightly-edited):
Anna Polina takes the hottest shower of her life. And you’re allowed to watch. So, hurry up and grab your VR headset. You’ll watch her getting hotter and hotter as she jams a dildo in her wet twat. Watch this stunning French cutie masturbate to shaking orgasm.Virtual Real Porn synopsis for Water Vapor
Give Me A Convenient, Time-Saving tl;dr…
All right, I know you good folks are oh so busy, man… What about me? I’m busy too, man! And, I still deliver the goods! My life’s become cheap-discount gin and no-frills peanut butter. And, I still give it the old community college try, man!
This movie provides 15 horny minutes.
Basically, Anna strips, teases and dildo-frigs in the shower.
It worked because the camera stayed on her like wet on water.
Okay, maybe that simile… um… sucked, but what I’m trying to say is the camera stayed TIGHT! Just what you want.
VR Porn Reviewing Scientific Method:
I do these reviews based upon three main factors:
1. The woman: let’s face it. The woman to VR porn is like the flute to a flute-playing virtuoso. I think that may have been a cruddy analogy. Well, the woman matters… like… A LOT! And, I already know I’m not funny!
2. The scaling: do things look correct and proportional? I mean… if the gal’s head’s the size of a shower and her torso’s like a bar of soap… well, it just doesn’t work.
3. Positioning: of the women and cameras. Close-ups are much-desired. It’s also great to get some variety of sexual positions.
All right, let’s talk about what was done right in this movie and
where there’s room for improvement:
Anna Polina: this is a good-looking woman. Skinny, pretty face, boobs like heavenly pillows, ass like your favorite love seat…. you get the idea.
The camera work: This VR is easy to summarize. I mean… basically Anna masturbates in the shower. And,
the camera stays really tight on her. And, that’s a good thing. We’ve established that close-ups are golden in VRs.
Positioning: the stand-up lends itself well to VR. It allows the viewer a certain realism as he can look the woman up-and-down. I’d like to see VRP do more of these standing-shower-solo VRs. I’d like to see them do one with Lynna or Carly Rae…
Yep, yep. Good movie. It’s horny. Plain and simple. Fappable stuff, man. Anna, I enjoyed watching you shower, girl. And, now it’s your turn to declare:
I wanna take a shower with Anna!