Emma, Gracie, Chelsy, Vinna, Misha and Amirah

All right, friends, I had a short stay in the drunk tank, so things backed-up a bit.

I’ll be damned: one little night in jail, and…

it reminds me of when I worked the cookie factory’s conveyor belt: one quick daydream on the line… and, I’ve got chocolate chips smashed into my boots …

oh, never mind!

Okay, so today we’ll discuss some new VRs featuring Emma Brown, Gracie Glam, Vinna Reed, Chelsy Sun and the Misha Cross/Amirah Adara combo.

Yes, as you’ve noticed: I’m trying a new approach. Necessity’s forcing me…

It’s just me, man! And, my Doberman. But, I don’t talk about my dog on here.

So, you guys ready to have some fun?

Now, are you really ready to have some fun? Or are you just saying that you want to have some fun?

Prepare for today’s VR Porn lesson, folks..

You know, when I was doing this article’s research, I came across an intriguing statement from Gracie Glam:
“not a fan of people…”
Me either, Gracie!

All right, so… I do these reviews based upon three main factors:

1. The woman: The female performer is evaluated upon beauty, performance and the unique qualities she brings to the VR. Some gals seem to have innate VR instincts. I’d like to do a study on this if the NEA funding comes through…

2. The scaling: do things look correct and proportional? This is the most important VR porn factor. You know, I don’t care if you’ve got a 20 year old Pamela Anderson in front of the VR rig…

Because, if Pam’s head looks like a watermelon balanced on a banana neck… all is lost!

3. Positioning: of the women and cameras. This is also crucial. VR viewers want close-ups!

BaDoink VR Teen Analyzed

“A playdate at Emma’s big house is always fun. You came for the amenities, but stayed for the anal sex!”

Okay, so here you have an Anal VR… and, I see a bunch of people yelling about a lack of anal virtual porns… so, here you go! I know what you’re wondering… me too… What do we really know about Emma Brown?

My research has revealed some juicy stuff. However, I make no claims to accuracy.

1. She’s a good-looking brunette gal with a beautiful ass. This I’m certain about

2. She’s from Russia.

3. She also goes by the name, Jana Q Leda.

4. She’s 19…

5. She doesn’t have a single neck tattoo.

All right, let’s talk about what was done right in this movie:

1. Emma Brown is a stunning, sexy brunette. And, skinny!

2. The scale:  The cowgirl feels right.

3. Opening skirt and panties teasing: this stuff shines in VR! And, I guess I’m a real panties perv, because those high-cut black panties got my man motor going! Hey… you’re a panties perv, too! Admit it, man!

4. Doggy style: you know, I wish doggy style was more popular in VR porns.

What about this movie could have been improved?:

1. Blowjob: I’m thinking blowjob footage in VR just doesn’t work for me.

2. Sharper image: … the movies they filmed before they got their new rig, so the image quality isn’t as sharp as their last effort. For a more complete discussion of this, see here.

3. More teasing: you know, all this panties stuff… It’s enough to get a fella light-headed.

I’d like to see some more extended teasing sequences with this horny stuff.

All right, moving along…
Naughty America’s Gracie Glam VR.

Here’s the synopsis:
“This year Gracie Glam is your Naughty Valentine”

Now, that’s the sort of synopsis I can endorse.

I like brevity…

…and, hell… the Naughty boys didn’t even include a period. I like that! Make your own rules man.

All right, let’s talk about what was done right in this movie, featuring Gracie Glam and Chad White:

1. Gracie Glam: I ain’t gonna lie to you boys. I like pretty-faced, skinny brunettes. Plain and simple.

2. Nice big scale: You know, I’ve seen NA take a lot of online criticism, but now that some time has passed, it becomes increasingly apparent that they’ve been getting a lot right since the beginning. And, I

like the big scale they achieved.

I think it creates a greater realism.

3. Doggy and missionary: it’s always nice when a VR squad goes beyond cowgirl.

4. Gracie’s ass: I mentioned it once, but an ass like that deserves to get mentioned twice.

What about this movie could have been improved?:

1. The blowjob footage: VR blowjob footage is boring to me.

2. Straighten your hair, Gracie.

Czech VR’s Vinna Reed
Okay, so the other day we saw a rather HORNY Vinna Reed solo effort. Oh, Vinna baby… you look sort of demure, but you’re anything but… wait for it… pure!

So, last time Ms. Reed solo doggied at the camera rig. And, I mused about the joy of standing behind her and bucking away. But, that’s not going to happen…

Thus, I next had this thought,

“It’d sure be nice to see Vinna in a hardcore VR…”

And, here we are with a Vinna hardcore VR. You know, I’m starting to develop warm-and-fuzzy feelings for these Czech VR pervs. I mean… these guys provide some high-quality stuff…

Okay, so… let’s see how the Czech boys describe their latest effort (lightly-edited):
“She’ll fuck like she hasn’t seen a cock in years. This girl is a total ruse and you will love every second of fucking her in our virtual reality room!”

Now, ruse is an interesting word choice. Is this suggesting that Vinna is a wily subterfuge?

Well, I really wish you’d not split-hairs over these details… I mean, the bottom line is I’d like to see this wily subterfuge in my headset…

All right, let’s talk about what was done right in this Vinna Reed Hardcore and where there’s room for improvement:

Normally, I do these in two separate sections. However, in this particular case, just as we learn in Taoism, strengths can also contain a weakness. Or, maybe that’s something Yoda said to Luke.

1. Vinna: she tops the list. I praised this young lady at some length about two days ago in the article, Vinna Is Czech VR’s Latest Blonde.

2. The sexual positioning: Okay, the actual sex consisted of doggy and missionary. In both instances, Vinna’s sort of perched on the backrest of a couch.

Now, VR cowgirl—especially when shot properly—is more fun than a … more fun than a … something that’s really fun, man! Now, as we’ve discussed, though, VR porns have veered towards a very cowgirl-centric bias.

So, I always welcome other sexual positions. And, the Czech boys deliver.

Now, I don’t know if it’s just my imagination… but, somehow the action in this one felt slightly more distant than usual. I don’t know if the Czech boys got some new equipment or are experimenting a bit.

I don’t know if I’m just imagining things. I don’t know if I’m just having a bad day. I don’t know why I’m sitting here listening to a band called On The Might Of Princes. They came up on the music app. The song sucks. Why am I not skipping it!

Somehow, with this movie, the scale and distance felt a little different. If you’ve read this blog, you know that I’ve given Czech extensive praise for their perspective and scaling. And, their women, too… of course.

3. Blowjobs and handjobs: You know, these days I’m thinking that VRs can skip the blowjobbing and handjob stuff. Again, this might just be me. But, I’m finding that it doesn’t do much for me.

4. Missionary lean-forward: I think VR missionary is a good time… And, it worked best in this movie when Vinna leaned-in and stuck her face at the camera.

I NEED VINNA! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Czech VR’s Chelsy Sun
“Since we really liked her, here’s more of amazing redheaded Chelsy. She’ll show you why redheads are thought to be horny sluts loving everything kinky. This girl will rock your world…”

All right, let’s talk about what was done right in this movie:

1. Chelsy Sun: there’s a lot to like about this young redhead. She did another solo effort just the other day,

which I discussed in some detail.

2. This VR is easy to discuss because it did everything right except there should have been more close-up time on Chelsy’s pretty face. But, the scale and perspective was excellent.

Chelsy’s stripping opening was great. And, she’s great.

Take me to Horny VR Chelsy Sun!

VRP’s Misha Cross and Amirah Adara

“Two naughty school girls ready to do anything just to make you cum, isn’t it anyone’s lifelong dream?”

All right, let’s talk about what was done right in this movie:

1. Okay, well this has Misha Cross, and she’s starred in quite a few VRP movies. And, she’s been discussed on this blog at great length many times. Additionally, she was the winner of the 2015 FindVRporn.com VR Porn Movie Awards.

She does a great job, and I don’t know if there’s much left to say.

2. Amirah Adara: she’s sexy and doinks with her panties pulled-to-the-side. That’s so HORNY!

3. This is a good horny VR… and, I’m getting tired, man. That jail floor was hard to sleep on.

What about this movie could have been improved?:

1. Well, I’m going to be honest here… It might sound a little funny. You see… this was a good VR. And, I’ve seen Misha and Amirah in a number of good VRs. But, I haven’t seen anyone pound them yet. You know… Pornstar Punishment style.

All right, I need to take a nap.

I want to join Misha and Amirah!