Well, friends, it’s Christmas Eve, which means…let’s discuss the new Felicia Kiss BaDoinkVR.
Sure, I know a lot of you are doing family shit right now…and, you may be taking a momentary break from the VR porns. Well, I don’t get that break! Such is the life of a VR porn reviewer. Oh, it’s a tough road, friends. Much misery. Little reward.
You ever hear of the famous play called Death of a Salesman? I’m writing a play. What’s it called? Wait for it… Death of a VR Porn Reviewer.
So, we last saw Ms. Kiss in December 10th’s most horny effort, which featured fellow Hungarian stable mate, Athina: also known as, “Athina is a Goddess on earth!” And, that was some good stuff.
Anyway, let’s get some of the basics out of the way. The name of this movie is Unwrap Me. And, I’m going to toss out the obvious rejoinder: Oh, how I’d like to unwrap you, Felicia baby!
So, I’m reviewing the Smart phone version of this using an HTC M8 with a Homido viewer. The movie runs a quick 14 minutes. I like that! And, there’s minimal plot. I like that also! As usual, the BaDoink boys offer versions for Oculus, Gear and Smartphone.
Okay, Felicia, listen up: I LIKE THOSE FUCKING BLACK STOCKINGS, BABY! I had to get that out… I had to put it in caps. There’s just something about a skinny gal in a garter belt with those black stockings that come up half-thigh that sets this man brain into a frenzy!
Believe me, Felicia’s the type of gal…if she emerged wearing those stockings…you’d just want to fuck her for a few days…have her change her stockings…then fuck her for a few more days…then maybe eat something.
All right, so it’s Christmas Eve, and my life sucks…moving along…
Okay, now with these reviews there are 3 main variables I consider. Do I consider other aspects besides the three? Yes, of course! Oh, you’re wondering what the three are… Damn, you guys are sharp. Okay.
1. The model: basically, … hang on…
Ah, shit … I can’t write right now. This is very unusual. This almost never happens to me. I’ll finish this tomorrow. Now, that’s a cheerful thought! VR porn reviewing on Christmas day. And, there’s a wacky, new Kink cuckold VR that I want to say a few words about also. Anyway, Happy Christmas Eve, ya’ll…
All right, it’s Christmas morning, and I’m back. What sort of asshole reviews VR porns on Christmas morn? The sort of asshole who’s got nothing in life! That’s who!
So, I gave this Felicia VR another quick look. And, there’s a lot right with it. And, there’s a few problems. Let’s talk about what’s right, first…
1. Felicia Kiss: she’s the main thing right with this movie! This is one gorgeous piece of Hungarian woman! I love that skinny body type with the tight ass and big, fluffy Euro tits with their divine, saucer-sized nipples.
2. That shaved spot. Yep, Felicia’s shaved pootanannie looks so enticing, it gets its own bullet point.
3. The stockings. A pretty gal in stockings could get this man fool to punch himself in the face if she wanted. I’m a sucker for lingerie type stuff. And bikinis! Next time, Felicia, model a bikini a bit in VR for Big Poppa, okay baby?
4. Felicia likes to fuck. That’s pretty obvious! She’s a horny slut! This happens to be a good quali
5. The scaling is mostly correct.
Okay, now let’s look at where things could be improved.
My main complaint with this movie concerns the positioning. It almost seems like this was released out-of-sequence from when it was shot. Because BaDoink VR was so on-the-right-track with positioning in earlier efforts starring Eva Darling and the underrated Goddess Jimena Lago.
All right, so…BaDoink VR had a most-perfect specimen of woman to work with in this movie. And, they didn’t take full-advantage of her.
It’s like driving a Lamborghini 60 mph. I ain’t saying that this effort is chopped liver. I’m saying, when you got Felicia Kiss naked before you…and, you got the cameras rolling…shove the VR camera rig in that gorgeous face and hold the camera there for a while. The girl’s beautiful. Hold the camera in her face.
Additionally, just as a racehorse wants to run…Felicia wants to fuck. Let her do more than just cowgirl. Let her fuck in different positions the way Jimena did. Also, there was too much man torso shown during the cowgirl.
Viewer men—I think the overwhelming majority—don’t want to see that…
What I want to see is another Felicia Kiss VR that mimics the Eva Darling and Jimena VRs regarding human positioning and camera angles (although the Jimena one was slightly screwed-up, it had the right idea). Yea. Felicia’s been in two VRs already, and mainly they just made me desire a Felicia VR with correct variables.
And, granted, there are a lot of moving parts (literally, figuratively) in these VRs…and, it’s not the easiest task to get all of them right. But, that’s what I’m expecting to see in 2016. The VR porn space will be competitive in 2016 and by 2017 it will be nuts. Consumers will want perfection. They probably won’t elaborate their desires in as much detail as you see on this blog, but I’m current on the discussion forums, and I know what consumers desire.
And, the underrated porn actresses must help themselves if they want success. Felicia, for instance, has a Twitter account with only 583 Followers. I’ve seen this among many insanely-beautiful, Euro porn gals. And, it’s crazy that some, like Felicia, have so few followers …
But, those chunkers are masters of self-promotion. And, gals like Felicia are going to need to help themselves. Anyway, we’re on the verge of 2016. Myself and others predict this will be a big, breakout year for VR porn.
Let’s see what happens…
And, now… Merry Christmas Charlie Brown! VR Porn People!